No tea for me please…

Somehow, over the years, tea has managed to embed itself within the seams of British culture. I mean, the sodding stuff is everywhere. It’s impossible to avoid and quite honestly, I really don’t get its appeal.

I realise that, to many, this is going to be a controversial opinion, but quite honestly, I don’t care. I hate the drink, I hate the rules that come with it, and I hate the attitude of those that drink it.

I’m obviously not a tea drinker. I tend to stick to squash, fizzy or a glass of water, all of which take minimal effort to make. If you are in the company of others, it is only polite to offer them a drink whilst making your own. Many of them choose tea. It seems to be an ever-expanding club and the obsession with it is continuing to grow. Considering a cup of tea is essentially a bag of leaves dipped in boiling water, I’m suddenly overwhelmed with a list of specific demands.

‘Two sugars please.’
‘Black tea for me!’
‘Could you leave the bag in?’
‘Not too much milk.’
‘Make sure you let the teabag brew.’
‘Decaf please.’
‘Empty the kettle first!’

I mean… Seriously?

I wouldn’t mind so much, but when I’m offered a tea, I usually ask for a cold drink instead (Which is actually easier to make!) But I rarely get the same treatment. In fact, the response I tend to get is ‘Really? You don’t want a tea?’

No… no I don’t.

They look at me with a confused expression plastered across their face. It’s the people that offer to make the teas, but don’t offer the non-tea drinkers a drink that bother me the most. The ones that don’t offer you a drink if it’s not TEA that you want.

Thanks… I’ll just go thirsty then.

It bugs me because I’m expected to pour water in the kettle, wait 5 minutes for it to boil, add the milk, wait for the tea bag to brew and stir in the correct quantities of sugar for them, but when I ask for a glass of water in return, they can’t be bothered to turn on a tap.

It frustrates me… A LOT.

Don’t even get me started on the tea drinkers that then have the audacity to tell me that I haven’t brewed it to ‘Perfection’…

Thanks for reading, and please, don’t take this blog too seriously, it’s just a bit of fun!

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