Our Haven-less holiday. A poetic complaint

Haven you’re supposed to be,
a place of relaxation,
but unfortunately you’ve let us down,
on more than one occasion.
We arrived on time to get our key,
but it didn’t fit the lock,
our caravan was 63,
but your key was sadly not.

We phoned you at reception,
with the number you wrote down,
but the man you sent to fix the issue,
may had well have been a clown.
My partner asked politely
“Do you want this wrong key back?
and will we get another,
so we can get the kids out and unpack?”
He turned and looked aggressively,
with anger in his eyes,
and responded with a sentence
that took us all by some surprise.
“If you give me 5 minutes I’ll tell ya!”
answered the rude little tit,
it was hard to not retaliate
and call him a fuckwit.
But I calmly kept composure,
although my partner, she was fumed.
I’ve seen that angry face before,
and it usually means I’m doomed.

As the guy unlocked the caravan,
my girls and I walked in,
immediately we all were greeted,
with the horrific woft of bin.
I’m sure as you can all imagine,
we were getting rather peeved,
that we’d been here less than half an hour,
yet we all wanted to leave.

To make it worse, two bulbs were out
and the guy stayed in to alter,
and whilst he did, a table collapsed
and almost slipped right on my daughter.
It had no screws securing it,
and almost landed on her knee,
it would be dangerous for any kid,
and mine has Cerebral Palsy.
It was all rather alarming
so we phoned you and complained,
and then you said we could move caravan,
but our anger still remained.

We carried on and packed the kids,
all back into the car,
but were obviously annoyed,
by how you’d treated us so far.
Our expressions turned from glee to frowns,
our kids were all confused,
but we gave the park a second chance,
but didn’t start off best amused.

We went in to the reception
and received a second key,
we were hoping it would fit this time,
as we were desperate to pee.
Luckily, the new caravan
was in a much better location,
unlike our first, we walked on in,
and started our vacation.

This caravan was better
and had definitely improved,
from the previous disaster
from which we quickly had to move.
It’s style was more modern
and it’s shower was great too,
it’s just a shame about our neighbours,
that kept us up the whole night through.
Blaring music, talking loudly
and the occasional door slam,
for all the caravans around their one,
they didn’t seem to give a damn.
My daughters didn’t sleep a lot
and were tired the next day,
with the amount we’d paid, the distance travelled,
I was pissed, it’s clear to say.

After reading this, you probably think I’m a serial complainer,
with the amount I’ve moaned and winged above,
I’ll be honest – I wouldn’t blame ya.
Well I’m not, for this I made exception,
by no means did I expect perfection,
I just wanted a nice location,
but unfortunately we chose Haven.

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