Look mummy, I’m a crap!

Look mummy, I’m a crap!

Kids are hard work. I mean, they’re obnoxious little shits that drive us mental, from the moment they wake up, to the moment they go to bed.


Can I have a drink? It’s not fair! What’s for dinner? I don’t want to tidy my room! I’ve lost my shoes! Can I have chocolate? I don’t want to! Etc etc…


I swear, it’s not often that I go to bed without a headache.

Some evenings (Usually between 5 o’clock and 7 o’clock), my partner and I literally just sit there, staring at each other with distressed expressions plastered across our faces, and we wait. We wait for the time that we can finally put the kids to bed; and quite honestly, it’s the LONGEST 2 HOURS EVER.

Okay, so maybe I’m exaggerating. The kids are generally well behaved and I wouldn’t change them for the world, but parenthood nonetheless is exhausting.

As parents, every now and then, we are given little pockets of opportunity that allow us to turn our stressful days into hilarious memories; and for me, this comes in the form of my toddler’s inability to pronounce certain words properly.


So, here are my top 4 examples:


#1   Im a crap, Im a crap, I’m a crap! Look mummy, I’m a crap!

Translation: I’m a crab, I’m a crab, I’m a crab! Look mummy, I’m a crab!


#2   I love you Willy, willy, willy, willy, willy, willy, willy lots.

Translation: I love you really, really, really, really, really, really, really lots.


#3   Daddy, you’re really ugly aren’t you.

Translation: Daddy, you’re really huggy aren’t you


#4   Mummy, can I shit on your lap?

Translation: Mummy, can I sit on your lap?


So, there we have it.

If you’ve been reading this and have a few examples of your own, then let me know! I would love to hear what gets other parents through a stressful day.


Thanks for reading, and from one parent to another:

‘Good luck and get some rest. You’ve got to do it all again tomorrow.’

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